SHAWKAT SANBAR
Founder & Chief Clown
SANBAR EMERGENCY CLOWN DISPATCH
~*~ SERVING THE GREATER METRO AREA SINCE 2019 ~*~ ★ 24 HOUR RAPID RESPONSE ★
► NAVIGATION
MEET THE CLOWN PRE-DEPLOYMENT PREP RECENT CALLOUTS LIVE FOOTAGE RATE CARD TESTIMONIALS GUESTBOOK LINKS TERMS OF HONK♫ MIDI JUKEBOX ♫
NOW PLAYING:
cancan.mid
Galop infernal (Can-Can)
(J. Offenbach, 1858)
⚠ NOTICE ⚠
We do NOT do birthdays.
Do not ask.
We do them. But do not ask.
We do NOT do birthdays.
Do not ask.
We do them. But do not ask.
VISITORS
00013847
⚠ OUR GUARANTEE ⚠
WE ARRIVE IN 30 MINUTES
OR THE BALLOON IS FREE.
Fully insured. Licensed. Bonded. Honking.
Lead technician photographed on active duty, 2026. Our technician is available at all hours and has never once been described as "well rested".
| METRIC | VALUE |
|---|---|
| Average response time | 4 min |
| Callouts completed | 1,204 |
| Callouts requested | 11 |
| Balloons deployed | 40,000+ |
| Complaints upheld | 0 |
>> MEET YOUR TECHNICIAN <<
CERTIFIED
Greasepaint Level III
ON CALL
Response: 4 min
FIELD READY
All weather
⚙ PRE-DEPLOYMENT PREP NEW!
APPLYING GREASEPAINT
STEP 1 OF 1
MIRROR CHECK
PASSED
ALT. CONFIGURATION
FOR FORMAL CALLOUTS
PREP FOOTAGE
LIVE
Every technician is fully painted before dispatch. There are no exceptions and there is no removal procedure.
✎ RECENT CALLOUTS NEW!
LIVESTOCK SITUATION
RESOLVED
CATERING INCIDENT
CONTAINED
CROWD CONTROL
ONGOING
OBJECT RETRIEVAL
JUGGLED
OFF DUTY
STILL A CLOWN
PERIMETER SWEEP
CLEAR
► LIVE DISPATCH FOOTAGE ◄
CAM 01 — JUGGLING IN PROGRESS
CAM 02 — PERIMETER BREACH
CAM 03 — INDOOR CALLOUT
Footage is unedited. Footage is always unedited.
▤ RATE CARD ▤
| SERVICE | RATE |
|---|---|
| Standard callout (business hours) | $40 |
| Emergency callout (after hours) | $40 |
| Balloon animal, simple (dog, snake) | $5 |
| Balloon animal, complex (giraffe, regret) | $25 |
| Juggling, 3 objects | $30 |
| Juggling, 4 or more objects | MARKET RATE |
| Silent approach (no honking) | $200 |
| Leaving when asked | $500 |
| Livestock surcharge | THE CLOWN DECIDES |
Cash only. No refunds. The clown decides when the job is done.
TERMS OF HONK (abridged)
Silent approach: $200. Leaving when asked: $500. The clown decides. Cash only.
(full terms — the box unchecks itself. you still agree.)❝ WHAT PEOPLE SAY ❞
"I did not request this."
— verified customer
"He was here in under 30 minutes. I never gave him my address."
— verified customer
"Five stars. The balloons are fine."
— verified customer
"Please stop."
— verified customer
"A clown sat down in the studio audience in Glendale. The balloons were already in the rafters. I work in craft services."
— verified customer
SERVICE AREA
Greater metro area.
Adjacent metro areas.
Your street.
Behind you.
★ AWARD WINNING ★
Voted #1 Emergency Clown
by this website, 2026.
Voted #1 Emergency Clown
by this website, 2026.
🚧 UNDER CONSTRUCTION 🚧
★ COOL LINKS ★
SCREAN
official games store of the dispatch
The Tyler Lofftus Show (IMDb)
corporate client / 40,000 balloons
Shane Cathcart fashion journal
Davis Dilanchian
✉ GUESTBOOK
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writes "honked at [local time]" on this computer only.
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© 1997–2026 SANBAR
EMERGENCY CLOWN DISPATCH.
terms of honk |
guestbook |
links
HONK RESPONSIBLY.